I have created a forum. I figure it can be a main focal point for the blogs and the cliques, and it will be fun. The Node Make it cool. Get your friends to join.

I'm pretty sure fly tying is something foreign to most of you, but it's something I've done since around sixth grade, and I've gotten rather good at it. Take a look. Fly Tying -I have no personal connection to this site, but it gives you a general idea. Click on either the tier index or the fly index.

Kelso gave me a book on film today, and it got me a-thinkin'.

Film creates a basic language which allows us to interact on an equal level with each other. Starting at childhood, we are saturated with representations of emotions and the way fake people react to these fake emotions. Monkey see, monkey do, and soon enough we all think love is standing under a balcony with a torn heart. "When you are happy, you will smile."

Think about what would happen if these conventions did not exist: emotion would be much more masked. We all know what is going to happen after a man brushes the hair from a girl's eyes and she looks at him with watery, sniffly eyes. I don't even need to say it. If we didn't see this scene played out for us time and time again, how would we react? I don't know, neither do you, because we use these languages of gestures and pre-written dialogue patterns to communicate emotion with a protocol we all understand, and it dictates the way we interact. Next time you're around other people, try to recognize the body languages people use that they've picked up from the media. Try to hear the "worn cliche's" (how ironic that that too is now a cliche) behind what people are saying. Especially when things get emotional.

I'm not letting my kids watch TV.

I demand to know who's responsible for this. Kyra Phillips Speaks

My typical JMUN experience:

1. Half-hour long bus ride to USD while listening to Mulvey whistle. Make a lot of Jesus jokes and hold signs up to cars (usually a drawing of boobs, penis, the usual). Occasional paper-wad fight breaks out, bus driver yells at William Wood to stop playing with the bathroom door. Contemplate what I'm going to say to Mr. Williams, the slick bastard.

2. Get there, tap feet nervously with sweaty palms or chuckle at the panicked expressions of the seventh graders, Mr. Williams doesn't say anything to me when I walk up to him. Shuffle off to delegations after looking older and suaver than you.

3. Proceedings underway, prod Jenna in the back of the head with a pen, whenever she raises her hand screech her name under my breath in a raspy voice. Rustle hair, assume a nonchalant pose. Entertain self by drawing pictures of John Lennon on resolutions. Make more Jesus jokes and give the chairs the old eye.

4. Present previously written speeches in persuading tones, walk back to seat with even stride but invariably trip on someone's tote-bag. Sit down, assume nonchalant pose, tap pen, stare holes in the back of Jenna's head.

5. Listen to seventh graders try to talk about politics without sounding stupid, eat lunch and try not to cringe at the 'intellectual' dialogue. Get involved in conversations, sound stupid and young, guess I am. Kick Bryan Casey.

6. After the conference, win every award I can and go home to a hot tub filled with oiled love goddesses, play Battletoads.

Things that annoy Kelso:

-Not doing your reading
-Freshmen
-People who talk during movies
-Sulking
-Lunchtime music
-John Hawkins

For Christ's sake, stop saying Kafka-esque.

Where do babies come from?

Had all four of my wisdom teeth surgically removed yesterday, laid on a couch and vomited four times due to the volume of blood I was swallowing. Woke up early this morning and felt better so I watched Evil Dead 2 and was rather unamused by it. Watched Chasing Amy and was satiated. Groovy.

WiggleForce: yo soy perro, feliz
KrazyWinkerbean: hey
KrazyWinkerbean: whaty what what?
WiggleForce: i think it means, "I am a dog. Follow Satan into the nether."

-10/10/02

My Karma's broken.

Batman is the greatest comic book hero of all time. He kills super-humans for a living using only his intellect and judo-break your face-skills. He's conflicted and dark, and he takes his aggression out on everyone in blind furies. He's rich, he pops sixteen-foot-boners, and he can kill you with the power of his wits alone. Discuss.

I've been reading Michael Moore's website, and why the hell am I getting caught up in all this careful calculation of what to consume and what not to consume? There is honestly no point in depriving myself of music or movies because they might violate some social ethic or break some cultural taboo that would immediately render me a worthless member of the automaton horde. Ghod, I just pulled a stick out of my ass and it hurt. Hooray for Eminem, it's all irrelevant and we should try working together instead of second-guessing everything we do from other peoples' eyes. Maybe it's just me.

"Well maybe Thom means.....girk.....skrrrg.....bphrrrrt.....robots.....
fearfearfearfearsocietyisgoingtoeatyoubuyouralbumsandliveinashedinmontana BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT..................................."

I read an article in an old Rolling Stone at Bryan's house waiting for him to wake up about DJ's who illegaly splice songs together to make frankenstein-esque remixes of songs that have nothing to do with each other. Mm, run-on. Bootlegs and Mash-ups. I'm currently listening to "Love Will Freak Us," a combination of Missy Elliot's "Get Your Freak On" and Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart."

Comedy comedy.

Dsico, a bootlegger and all-around cool person

And light which was borne on my shoulders.

A sunrise is a dappling of yellow over blue.

Seeing a new set of eyes in every unwavering gaze. Taking each step to a symphony of violins. Making every movement like water running through hair. Watching spider-webs clear. Waiting.

It. That's it. I have become overwhelmed by the disfunctional nature of our system. Killing a-rabs in a fit of pent-up testosterone. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! I can't even cope with it anymore, and now that we're at war, chances are we're stuck with Apeshit Jr. for another six years. When people talk about the legacy that's being left for the youth of the world, they're right. Look at what we're left with. Just take a look at this big 'fuck you' that's being left on our doorsteps for us to clean up. I don't know where to start to make a difference, though I will do something. I suggest we all do.

I know I have at least three readers who live outside of Scripps High, so I'm opening up the comments to a little debate. Do you think that suburbia supresses creativity and personal growth or allows us to experience music, literature and the rest in an unthreatening, undistracting environment? Personally, I don't know.

Alright, you've had your intellectual reprieve. Now let me pull out my acoustic and play a little poem. If Thom Yorke went to Scripps:

Lock me up
Throw away the key
Nothing's come over me
Something's come over me.

Crush them one at a time
But they breed like rabbits
Breed like rabbits
And they'll fill you up with
Blinding car lights and
This big this big
They're like ticks
They won't wash out.

Lowest ever prices on nothing
Gee it's foggy in here
Gee it's foggy in here
But there's blinding lights outside
And my neighbors want to hurt me
Curl up in my living room
Feel not want not

Tell me when to laugh.

-2/26


Hell, I'm laughing.

Aliens vs. Predator vs. Mr. T

Sup, muthafucka

I searched for "home town smell."

My google search for "Valentin image night" (Valentin) yielded these results:

What the holy bejesus does this have to do with my google search for "Mr. Shoulders?"

I found this when I did a google search for "flintstones hate boys drop monofilament." Cultural Psychobabble

And just for your enjoyment,

Enlightenment

Even Weirder

Christian conservatives who want to abolish school? Senators too? For all the wrong reasons, of course, but I'll add this to my devious little bag of tricks.

God hates gays...and school

I caught onto the whole Beastie Boys thing about ten years too late. I might get skinned alive for this, but I actually like Intergalactic. It's how you kids say..."Show me the boogie."

I just finished Catcher in the Rye. It stuck:

Once again, I was leaving my door behind. Quite farther behind than my parents would have liked. Nothing against them, just some things I needed to fix. I made my way north, past a few sleeping faces.

The streetlights were always dim. The city fell behind in its civil upkeep now and then. In fact, now. I didn’t want to ride my bike there, it wouldn’t play into my scenario very well. I’d show up at the door, “Uh, hi Rave, I’ve loved you since third grade. Can I put this in your garage or something? I don’t want the dew to rust it. Thanks.”

Her name’s Raven. It’s her most endearing quality; probably why I was so attracted to her in the first place. Sounds like something from a movie; I like that. Her parents were hippies. You know. I always imagined her sitting in a café in Paris or some crap like that. Like in the movies. Not here, not now. Never here, certainly. Maybe back in the sixteen-hundreds, when she was some Indian deity-war-goddess-thing. It would fit her.

I knew I was supposed to be thinking about things. Raven, me, me and Raven, life, existentialism, all of it. Any of it might do, but all I could see was this dog I saw earlier. It had worms, I assume; it was dragging its ass all over my driveway. My parents were rotating through a circular set of shock, anger, despair, uncontrollable laughter and brief horror as it started leaving little red streaks on the concrete. Luckily, it had the good sense to stop then, and we told its owners they should probably take it to the vet. I had to clean the driveway. Of course.
I found myself smiling. No time for smiling, I was trying to incubate worthy memories. Something I can revisit when I'm older, maybe by only a week.

Just so you can appreciate the effects of time: My humble beginnings

Man, there was a moment. And by the way, the CD's still for sale, along with a couple of new ones that'll make you want to kick your mom RIGHT IN THE FACE!!

Perhaps I should continue to allude to people and events I can't specify under layers of poetry that only I understand.

A little bird told me about a girl in its physics class. Real questions, spoken out loud, from her mouth:

"I don't get Earth. Do we live inside it or something? Because we can't see big buildings from space."

"Y'know how Earth has water and mountains and stuff? Well, do they have that on the moon, too?"

"Who was the first person to land on Mars?"

No joke.

I was listening to Blackbird and having one of those moment-caught-in-time-self-discovery moments that was absolutely priceless and poignant and DLEEELEEELEEEE the phone rings. "GOD DAAAAAMMIT!!!" It's my mom, she wants me to order chinese takeout. Find the place's number on the whitepages website, order, can't really understand what the person's saying. Put phone down, start going back to headphones and DLEEELEEELEEEE "GOOOOOOD DAAAAAAAAAAMMMMIIIIIIIIT!!!!" It's Bryan and he's coming over in half an hour to drop off recording equipment.

Oh well.

When feminism gets absurd to the point of humor: Snow Penis

I subscribe to an online DVD rental service run by a very good friend of mine called GreenCine which sends you DVD's by mail. It's like Netflix, only cooler, because I have personal ties with them. I suggest it. I'm signed out for the 8 DVD plan, meaning I have about 16 hours of movie to watch at any given time. And now, The Movies Matt Watches:

1. Dersu Uzala by Akira Kurosawa

The dialogue is completely in Russian, which is strange because all of Kurosawa's other movies are in Japanese. Dersu Uzala is a Goldie mountain man who comes across a Russian team of explorers, the captain of whom he quickly befriends. After many adventures in the wilderness the Captain asks Dersu to live with him in a Russian city whose spelling eludes me. I think pi is in there somewhere. Overall, a visually interesting movie as well as very believable script-wise. To watch this movie you must have patience. It's two and a half hours long but it feels like four. It's worth it though.

2. Yojimbo by Akira Kurosawa

Along with Seven Samurai this is my favorite Kurosawa movie. It was remade into Fistfull of Dollars starring Clint Eastwood. A lone samurai pits two warring clans of a small town against each other. Mifune's best performance I've seen and the movie's good enough to see three times, like I just did.

It's a lost cause and a losing battle and it's all going to come out upside down SCREAMING!!

Countless nights spent in front of a screen waiting for connection, gratification, little moments to get caught up in music that always plays to nothing. Oh well, it's a losing battle.

Mattie Ess, who are you? I have a readership outside of my highschool?

My list of phrases most commonly heard at school:

"Who do you have next?"
"Who do you have for physics?"
"Do you have Dean for physics?"
"Did the bell ring yet?"
"What about work in Australia?"
"Get your damn dog off my roof."

Last night I went with Clay to see The Gangs of New York and ran into the Segade tag-team of wondrous wide-eyed stares. While I was dancing around and trying to scam them into sneaking us into the movie (what a surprise that they were seeing the same one we were) Clay was looking at her and her husband apologetically. We ended up just buying two tickets to How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and then slipping into Gangs as an employee looked on right in front of us. Friendly service with a smile, that.

Take a good, hard, long look at what the school system is doing to us, and then take a good, hard, long look at yourself. You have got to understand, so we can make things better.

For those more versed in the ways of weirdness:

Dennis Hopper Bathes

This is what I've been trying to communicate for the past year. GW Scorecard of Evil --Still want to argue?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is important. Your voice will be counted even if you're under the voting age. Bio Gems

Spread it around, it's ridiculous we can't take responsibility for these things.

What makes a choice right?

God damn music. It's ruining everything, y'know.

I was trying to watch Election and my dad came into the kitchen right behind the couch. He's on the phone. He's BEEN on the phone for about half an hour, and he's doing the dishes one dish at a time. Click...................click.................click.............click

I ran upstairs to restrain myself from screaming, put my laundry away, came back downstairs and he's STILL THERE!! And my mom's going to come home soon and start making dinner. BLEAAAARHGHAHGAHGH!!!!!

You all need to see this. Right Now. This is honestly the funniest thing I've seen all year. I can't even express in words...

Arnold

I think I've started a Blog fad. I wonder how well I've maintained my readership.

Oh yes, I have a cool new feature that lets you comment on posts. Click on the thing that says "comment" right after my name on every post. Enjoy.

Everyone blasting guitar solos at each other. Harmonize god-damn-it. Work together.

KELSO 4 EVER!!!

The Kelso Brady Fan Club

We all know Orlando Bloom, the charismatic and hunk-a-licious co-star of the Lord of the Rings movie series, in which he portrays the stern but sensitive elf Legolas.

I am

I am Chaos: Prince of Darkness and I shall rape your human mouths when the Vampyr god has drowned the Earth in the blood of virgins!



Transcend the Earthly Realm

In a desperate last-resort method of maintaining my readership in the light of Brad and Clays' new weblogs, I am reduced to toilet humor.

...hey man. Hhhhow's it...goin'? .....pbbththhh...............hey, is that a penis? ..........(long, protracted silence)

My conservative christian sixth-grader neighbor is over at my house playing Starcraft, so I'm blasting The Clash and periodically rushing over and slashing him with a highlighter.

Please, please, please go and download the movie I made with Bryan. It's been quite popular, and I haven't run into a bad review yet. I know people who have watched it thirty times.

Movie!

I finished a minute-and-a-half long movie I made with Bryan one day, and it's gaining a small cult following. IM me and I can send it to you; you may have to download Quicktime to play the .mov file.

A new kid on the block. http://www.shaftpatty.blogspot.com/ Come back when his grammar has inebriated you.

Over at Bryan's and up at six so I can watch the sun rise through the cold. Something sacred made its way out of me, and it flew too fast with honesty irreparable. Time for trust and friendship to kick in. Good to laugh again.

Reading old, yellowed conversations makes me appreciate my standing in things. A tragedy. I have a lot to think about this morning, and a lot of decisions to make.

It seems like we, 'teenagers', are almost obligated to listen to music as a form of personal extension. It's all around us, overwhelming, it's ingrained in our society and every one of us. It's always there. On TV, on the streets, even advertisements are somewhat musical. So instead of choosing to love music, we just do. It's a given. And maybe we don't even 'love' music, but just accept it as a part of our lives, one more way to pass time.

Even worse than this neglect is the idea people seem to carry around that the music they listen to is the most holy part of themselves, as if these musicians you don't even know could express to the world your innermost thoughts. Sometimes it even becomes a kind of language, to be traded as little bits of ourselves. To try to flesh out an impression of someone you might browse their cd's. It's become a means of communication, which is so bizzare. Whole conversations can be played out by trading mp3's. Such a strange niche in the human web.

It's eleven-forty on a school night and I'm feeling an INCREDIBLE SENSE OF ELATION! Jump on my balloon, let's go sailing.

Eliminating the competition.

"I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me. She showed me her room, isn't it good Norwegian Wood."

Unmitigatedly pretentious of me to do this, but I'm posting lyrics.

Mortal Kombat!
Mortal Kombat!
Fight!
Excellent.
Liu Kang
Sonya
Jax
Kitana
Jade
Sub-Zero
Scorpion
Cyrax
Smoke
Sheba
Motaro
Hahahahaha!
Choose your destiny.
Flawless victory.
Fight!
Mortal Kombat!
Finish her!
Excellent.
Liu Kang
Sonya
Jax
Kitana
Jade
Sub-Zero
Scorpion
Cyrax
Smoke
Sheba
Motaro
Hahahahaha!
Brutality.
Animality.
Fatality.
Superb.
Choose your destiny.
Flawless victory.
Fight!
Mortal Kombat!
Finish him!
Well done.
Outstanding.
You'll never win!
Danger.
I win.
Hahahahahaha!
Choose your destiny.
Flawless victory.
Fight!
Mortal Kombat!
Finish him!

Unmitigatedly pretentious of me to do this, but I'm posting lyrics.

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize
We're floating in space?
Do you realize
That happiness makes you cry?

Do you realize
That everyone you know someday will die?
And instead of saying all of your good-byes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize?

Do you realize
That everyone you know someday will die?
And instead of saying all of your good-byes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?

Do you realize?


The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize


note: existentialist crisis not included.

Head above ground now, dirt and mud is so much smaller than the limitless sky.

Bryan,

Keep up the good work.

Harrison.

Ironically, Tom Green is one of two television personalitlies I actually admire, the other being Michael Moore. Jackass can't hold a flame.

Speaking in tongues with internet stuck through head. Maybe if all the blogs speak in a broken, Joyce-esque poetic code, people will think we're brilliant.

Ah, broken corridors and my foot hurts like Bowie in a cold rain. Comply comply and heart will spiral on.

I feel a consistent obligation to create. "You should be reading something, listening to something, writing something, creating something, meditating, anything but sitting around on your ass talking to people." Gets so frustrating. It's usually not even creative inspiration, it's just a drive to try to self-improve. The desire to see eye to eye with twenty year olds isn't detrimental, in fact it's been quite helpful in helping me mature, I just feel like I need to create little macro-universes on a page or a screen somewhere and it pisses me off sometimes.

Of course, maybe I'm afraid of my own potential. This happen to anyone else?

If you stand out in a crowd, I want to hear from you. Drop me a line (the hook is optional) at wiggleforce@aol.com

Two parts blind love, one part reproach. That's the way to take it.

Sinners!

I happened upon a story I did for the Marshall Website in my seventh grade year that's been repackaged and ripped off. Whoever found it deep in the catacombs of my residual files did a good job of spiffing it up but they never give me credit. I'm being plagiarized by kids two years younger than me.

Two horrifying people.

Why is it that Radiohead always makes me feel claustrophobic? I bought OK Computer and Kid A after Christmas and whenever I listen to them I feel aggrevated that music as despondent and nihilistic as this is so tremendously popular. People everywhere absorb this image of a pale, lost little man floundering with an overwhelmingly greedy and materialistic society and they start do don that very persona. So in the end, instead of pointing out our ills to us, they've just created a sense of hopelessness, like there's some long, dark tunnel filled with monsters that we have to run through with no possibility of coming out on the other side. Maybe that's the case, but meditating on it just makes it seem all the more inevitable.

I like Radiohead in small doses. It's the musical embodiment of a large part of myself; someone who feels crushed by all this expectation to hold the population of Earth on their shoulders, but I also think music can challenge the system without crying. Hence the other pole, The Clash. Total disgust for beaurocracy with a militant cry of optimism. A fighting attitude. This is the kind of thing that changes society for the better. Here's to you, Strummer.

Jesus H. Christ, just spent the better part of my day (like six hours) playing Super Ghouls n' Ghosts, a stupid aborted fucking shit fuck of a game that I want to punch. Premise: you are King Arthur, super sexy knight who dies in two hits. King Arthur must fight the entire undead legion (all sixteen plus levels of them) to save his princess who was too stupid to tell you about this goddamned thing called the "Goddess Bracelet" early in the game. Each of the sixteen levels takes a minimum of ten tries to beat, sometimes more like fifty, and then after spending just under an hour on the first to last level, "oops, sorry, you have to play the entire game over again on a higher difficulty to find my damn jewelry! Have fun!"

Yaaaaaaaaaaar! Damn you, Super Nintendo!!

So what you're saying...is that music is just a series of sounds and words designed to entertain you? Ooooooh.

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/standard/main.htm

The truth about removing your humanity.

Like a soda bubble and all the feelings it brings to mind.

Psst, Valentin, there are no concrete rules of social conduct. Test the water before you jump in.

Right, well, some things have been sorted out so all I need to do now is try to make amends with a few of Miki's friends. So I'll start by saying I'm sorry and I hope I haven't fallen too out of favor.

What an imperfect day for a rainstorm. Rain, rain, go away, I have a feeling you're here to stay.

The hardship isn't an enduring quality anymore, and all my labors seem to wind up in blustery days. The world certainly stops in a blink of an eye. My eye at least. I had to eat that white dove. It sure as hell isn't getting out of my sight again.

Unfortunately, they cannot hear the music you are playing in your head. Oh well. Here's to the movies.

"Love You 'Till the End" by The Pogues has become my favorite song for secret reasons which I will never tell.

Lately I've been heavily contemplating my exit from society. I don't know what options Scripps offers, but I've been wanting more and more to find a legally-sanctioned way of not going to school. I heard somewhere that there's some thing where you get your week's homework every monday and you turn it in completed the next week, which would be nice, but it also might get awfully lonely. Here's my reasoning for this change:

1. Compulsory schooling is the basis for a culture (our culture) that is ruthless, feckless and greedy. It takes you at a young, impressionable age and teaches you to be subservient, defeatist office worker. It disrupts every natural learning process and basically puts cages around your mental abilities. Pick up a copy of Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto.

2. The pacing. I don't need to be pulled around by bells anymore. I wake up every morning at 5:50, which doesn't help my mood. The bleak, uncaring atmosphere and the regimentation of it all make it seem more like a penal facility than a place of learning. It's needlessly exhausting and is really taxing my mental health.

3. I want time to develop my personal interests, and in the process, myself. At this age, it is crucial to try and explore yourself, because you're finally able to make some semblance of the world and how you view it and the people in it now will effect your opinions for a long time. I know your personality is constantly changing and under attack throughout your entire life, but I can't afford to have eight or nine hours of my time as a child eaten up by this monster determined to break my spirit. I've recently discovered a love for film in myself that I never noticed before, and I'm considering a career as a director. Naturally I'd like to devote some time to exploring this option, but with so much homework I don't really have enough time to give the notion the treatment it deserves.

4. School was founded as a means of social programming. It is meant to make children obedient and submissive for easy control, even when they're adults. It is also designed to break existing family bonds. "If we use schooling to break children away from parents--and make no mistake, that has been the central function of schools since John Cotton announced it as the purpose of the Bay Colony schools in 1650 and Horace Mann announced it as the purpose of Massachusetts schoos in 1850 - we're going to continue to have the horror show we have right now." (Gatto, 37)

5. The average mental capacity of a homeschooled child is five to ten years more advanced than that of one who has been publicly schooled. Consider that.

In a nutshell.

I went album shopping with my brother and Bryan (hf.never-twice.com) and came home with five CD's. I got three different Julian Cope CD's for about ten dollars. Music is so much easier when you read up on it. I suggest the compendium "The Book of Rock." Worth the money in terms of knowledge you will gain. Also looks really spiffy.

I's currently midnight, so happy not yesterday. Bryan's playing Grand Theft Auto 3 in the other room and I've been entertaining myself for the past half-hour with an internet device that comes up with a randomly-generated description of a "product" that you type into a text box. Here's a few samples, I have about fifty of these saved up for your enjoyment. Sorry about the spacing, the internet on my laptop isn't working so I have to use my mom's iMac with a wacky keyboard.

-

Mrs. Segade is a newly-discovered breed of fish that catches spiders!

DJ Ecto is a chainsaw that floats in water! It can be controlled by willpower alone and knows what you want before you do.

Wallpaper is a small plastic pyramid! It bounces up and down!

A prostitute is a housebrick that can be used in zero-gravity and recites haiku.

Oh, the fun we will have with this one. You would not believe the irony of some of these. Stay tuned.

My christmas list consisted mainly of musical requests but I'm afraid of what those gifts might bring. How do you communicate undefinable truths with a series of noises and words? You can hint at it and allude to it, but the real truth is that unless you are the one who wrote the song you can never fully understand what the author is trying to say (if anything), not to mention the necessary knowledge of the song's historical background or specific social subjects. If the song's a personal one (you can usually tell) I'd rather just admire the music than try to translate it into some half-assed botchery of the songwriter's original meaning.

A lot of the time I also feel like I should be teaching myself these things or absorbing them in an un-coded, direct way, like in the form of the Autobiographical Essay (which I love) so that totally skewed ideas don't wind up in my subconscious through my misinterpretation.

On the other hand, I do love music and on the occasion that I actually know enough about a musician and their background to try to garner some meaning out of their work it's a fulfilling event. Like Lennon. And sometimes Bowie (Oh! You Pretty Things, Life on Mars)

I'm making this post from inside my Physics class. I stole a few minutes to engage in personal signs of affection with you. The teacher's coming with an axe.

Matt Kelly and I spend entire physics periods using out stools in sexually provocative ways. The teacher, of course, doesn't notice.

Another top 5:

1. Ice Cube - Juno Reactor

Feverish, pulsating trance music that has restored my faith in the electronica genre. The kind of techno that gives you goosebumps and makes your spine tingle it's so addictive. I want to throw a party just so I can play this song at its true volume.

2. Wicked Game - Chris Isaak

Of course. What young person in this country has not at some point listened to this song while staring out a window? The official theme song of people who flounder in the helplessness they exude from their orifices. But Isaak's still damn sexy to listen to.

3. Life on Mars - David Bowie

I know I'm following the trend here(www.king-mob.com , hf.never-twice.com) , but Bowie deserves the recognition. I don't know why, but I have all but one or two songs of Hunky Dory on my MP3 playlist and this is by far my favorite. It's so tender it feels like a tooth with an exposed root is stuck in your heart and a vagrant badger is gnawing on the red, fleshy stump. It's that poignant.

4. Independent Woman - Elbow

This is by far the funniest song I've ever heard. It's a cover of a Destiny's Child song done with accordion, xylophone, and crooning, gravelly vocals sung by a very smooth, very English (presumably unshaven) man. They cut out eight-ninths of the vocals and the satire is overpowering.

5. The Mystery Trend - Julian Cope

This song hasn't left my side for about a month. Rather indescribable and the lyrics are a bit beyond me but I'm starting to get it. A work in progress.

(gasp....gasp...gasp.) There's yer damn content.

I LUV U SEANBABY!!

http://www.seanbaby.com

Turns out Milli Vanilli doesn’t love me after all.
Just found out today
Just threw them my week’s savings
Oh well
I never was one for honesty anyway.

Turns out Paul Mc Cartney’s been lying to my face
And now he does handstands
For teary little eyes
And bent little minds.

Maya Angelou called me yesterday.
She told me I should buy a Nokia no-roam plan
Between bursts of static and garbled voices talking about “gnomes.”
I told her
I don’t have a cell phone
And she hung up.
I think.

Nine out of ten revolutionary icons
Prefer non-drowsy Tylenol,
And Malcom X takes little blue pills
With Coca-Cola.
He buys from Bob Dole.

Weird, Coca-Cola doesn’t show up on spell check.

9/29/02

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....Haahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaah! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahah! Hahahaha!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAH!!

I thought it might be funny to make a followup to my compatriate Bryan Casey's newest weblog installations (http://hf.never-twice.com). He's spent a few hours every couple days describing exactly why he likes the things he does and why you should too, with a mini history lesson to justify his undying love for the stuff. Let's go on the learning journey!

1. Given the Dog a Bone - AC/DC

A long time ago five Australian guys smoked, then screwed, then drank, then screwed again and smoked and drank a few more times (just to make sure). Hence AC/DC. I can say I like them without batting an eyelid. I don't really have much shame when it comes to these things. Dammit, they're fun. And they know they're only fun. Maybe their fans don't but me and Angus Young exchange little understanding glances between songs. Given the Dog a Bone. Pure, unabashed stupidity and I love them for it. All those times that Dark Side of the Moon makes me want to throw it against a wall I can breathe a sigh of relief while diving behind a couch from Johnson's blaring vocals.

2. Kill All Hippies - Primal Scream

Oh yes. Ooooooh yes.

3. Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones

The first. The best. Damn you old pasty people for domesticating it with your baseball stadiums and social events. Never gets any radio play anymore because it's all commercial Jeff 'n Jare stupid anus fuckery that I hate. I have to listen to that crap every morning in my carpool. "Hmm, maybe we should make jokes about the DC sniper now! OK! Hey Jeff, isn't Jennifer Aniston hot? I sure hope they keep Friends on the air for another...hundred years! (guy laughs in a shoot-me-in-the-face squeal)" Stick with what's decent and good. Please.

4. Don't Eat the Yellow Snow - Frank Zappa

I can repeat this one word for word now and my Zappa voice is finely honed. This is the kind of stuff you play in the car on long road trips just to drive the other people crazy. One of those. Yeah. Only this man could name his children "Dweezil" and "Moon Unit."

5. Mexican Radio - Wall of Voodoo

Lost in the desert. I can't name any of the band members but I still consider myself a fan. Unique and addictive and won't leave me alone when it's quiet.

Watching AC/DC videos with your dad. Wow.

I wish I had special moves in real life. If I were mugged by a pack of mohawked space-mutant thugs in front of a progressively futuristic starport/killer robot manufacturing plant I would want the ability to press A and B at the same time, jumping into the air and spin on an invisible axis with feet extended in a mad flurry of fists and feet. It also might come in handy upon homework collection.

I want to damage pop-up windows like only The Rock can.

Round two of the Fatal Mistranslation Game! The first sentence is the one entered into the translator. The second is the mangled, unrecognizable nonsense that results from translating it back to english after translating it into a foreign language. This game's language is Spanish!

Can you please pass the butter? Translates to...
Can you pass mantequilla please?

I would like to stroke an elephant.
It wanted to rub an elephant slightly.  
 
My table likes to kick you and your little dog too.
My table has taste to also strike him and its small dog with the foot.