After all these years of trust and companionship, my sinuses have betrayed me. I used to like colds, but now that i'm in highschool missing a day is the equivalent of shooting yourself through both legs with a harpoon gun.

Quiet, my friend.
Quiet waits for me
Quiet waits for me behind every smile,
Every sound
Every thought.

Crooners play on through the hazy night
On old rusted radios
Soon to be quiet.

Weeping girls you can't console
You can't console
Who don't want you to console
But you have to anyway.
Because that's what friends are for.
That's what friends are for.

Crooners play on through the night,
Breaking the silence.

Silence, vicious accomplice.
Why do you make me loathe you
Sneaking in between broken sentences
Filling their cracks.

The crooners croon on...
Through the dark night
And my teary mind.

Why do you think the universe is made of concrete? Perhaps it shifts its' taste of irony every other week so as to satisfy the full range of human intuition.

Hello, world...I see you. I see you.

A word about christians.

I like finding sore, bruised spots on peoples' personalities where continuous prodding makes them squeal in annoyance. So in this respect, and following modern religious statistics, most people get completely offended when I talk about Jesus and his girthy black penis.

All heathenry aside I actually didn't have much against the church in general until Mulvey. For some reason the words "Burn in Hell you gothic freak" struck a chord in me that's been singing ever since. If only he were to walk swiftly into a wall of rusted spikes my life as a heretic would be all the more bearable.

I'm a Taoist. As you all know, I'm basically a pacifist-activist neo-yippie with a broad knowledge of antiquated prose. Mulvey, as you all know, is a racist, bigoted, blind nazi with his head so far up his proverbial ass he can't even tell when you're mocking him. His kind are the reason women still live in a persecuted social caste, the teaching of evolution has been banned from many southern states, and we continue to live in a state of ridiculous paranoia over the devil.

Christianity teaches tolerance, love, kinship and faith in nature. I think the institution has some wonderful moral lessons and many people understand to take the bible as metaphor. Mulvey, however, thinks the answer to the world's probelms lies in the smiting and genocide of evil liberals. Tolerance includes satanists, disbelievers, afghanis, and yes even women. I understand Mulvey does not represent the christian majority. So keep on blushing and yelling, it'll just raise your blood pressure and quicken the inevitable. You look so cute when your face puffs up like a tomato. As for me, there's a lot I could learn from the bible but It's hard to read when it's being thrust forcefully into your skull.

Did I mention I enjoy premarital sex with multiple, anonymous, Pagan partners in pools of goat blood?

I've been inspired to start the Hairless Shivering Chiuahuas Who Need to be Kicked League. Now accepting donations.

School makes my head feel like an overweight desk clerk. Need to party, need to get out of the box, need to get out of the house. Let's throw a party, everyone. I'm sure you could all use the break so if anyone has ideas of how to go about booking a band or perhaps a locale?

So word on the street is that I'm a hardened spite-monger who hates everything. Hmm. The stuff I like is just so obscure (in terms of popular society, anyway) that no one's ever heard of it, therefore it's pointless to bring it up.

So to clear this up I've compiled the list.

Musical Tastes:
Tom Waits
Radiohead
Pink Floyd
The Beatles
Juno Reactor
Primal Scream
AC/DC (hehehe)
The Snaps
Tristrazea (that how you spell it?)
The Clash
The Ramones
Goldfrapp
(okay some of these are not so bizarre. in fact some of them define the mainstream. dammit.)

Books:
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Phillip K. Dick
Good Omens by Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman

Movies:
Lawrence of Arabia
Rushmore
Turkish Star Wars
The Royal Tenenbaums
Bottle Rocket
The Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge (anyone in my english class will be familiar with this one)
Amelie
Donnie Darko
Malcom X
Roger and Me
Blade Runner
Alien

I can go on and on and on...basically if you show me something bizarre or innovative I'll usually play along. It's just that everything's so consumed by the same Mc Music, Mc Movie and hack bestsellers that I never get a chance to flex my tastes in public. So ha.

This post will self-destruct in thirty seconds.

Bring out the good wine, my weblog now has an audience of THREE!

Writing a daily weblog is like talking to yourself. I have don't know who the audience is so I can't address you in terms that I would if I were in person. I guess this is a reflection of how i talk in my head but since it never occurred to me until a minute ago it's probably quite a bit off.

Oh me oh my, so many new people now. What to think, what to do, help me make some sense out of it. All going round in a merry haze, so I guess relationships are inconsequential in the "bigger scheme." But help me make sense of all the new faces. A few of them fascinate me but I'm pissed at the games now and I don't feel like playing along. Show you to me.

"Pissing is how the devil enters childrens' loins," claims my spanish teacher Senora "my ass is clenched so tight you can hear it squeak" Trott. She issued her wild, hormone-frenzied class of crazed baboons one paper ticket granting us access to a toilet. The ticket can only be used once...every six weeks. When our impatient young bladders are ready to explode out of our orifices and we actually have to ask to pee in spanish. So by this point some poor wretch, wracked with pain and sweating profusely, has to stand cross-legged in front of the teacher's desk while she pretends not to understand him with a look of cruel, mocking confusion plastered across her face. In the rare occasion that, through a series of intricate hand motions and sound effects, they are able to gain access to the hallway they must then spend a minute signing themselves out on a sheet she keeps tucked away in a dark, hard-to-reach crevice. If you're gone for more than five minutes while your now diabetes-infected genetalia are emitting pre-decayed urine she calls security to make sure we're not engaging in "inappropriate signs of affection."

Why in the name of holy christ in heaven does she need to punish us for posessing bowels? I mean, what the hell went wrong in her life that she has to give herself delusions of granduer in that she can subject fourteen-year-olds to mild torture and humiliation?

Just something I thought up:

Sweet & Sour Desk.

I should introduce Dungeons and Dragons into my more socialble clique just to see their way of life slowly degrade into seclusion and itchiness. Ah, the nights spent in a Dr. Pepper-induced haze trying to penetrate the goblin king's lair while Valentin engulfs whole boxes of caffeine-mints. I'm sure my parents appreciate my shift of mind.

(Dictation from random section of my dad's telephone conversation.)

"What about housing them though? Oh, and we can't oh i see, it was a labor force. labor...force... (dixie chicks playing from his headphones) Immigrants bring us the labor, and we can't house them. Of course we can't house lots of people now. (laughs)...well right now we look pretty unsustainable. And then it goes on. Well...good. (laughs) ohokay. I might add that. OK. Uh, later on it says, i need a short form here obviously. Is that over-simplifying it?...Alright. OK. (types) OK, gotcha. How bout a UCSD regionally based public program with the movers and shakers? Because you don't invite gardeners. (abrupt laugh) I'm scanning down here, I got Yankelovich and Mary in there too. Down near the end it says uh, Wallshock sees it as her rainforest analogy. I don't know if you've heard this before. Again she explains that earlier in terms of cross-fertilization, no species dominates, all of that. Urines. He also reports a great restedness among the Movers and Shakers. A San Diego kitchen table, where everyone gets invited for breakfast."

That's it, I can't take any more.

After a year of confusion that seems like five in my mind, my strife with Renee is finally over. Come one, come all, Matt is returned.

The first two weeks of highschool have been deadening. One thing after another has left a gaping hole somewhere between my heart and my stomach. The suicide threat, painful arguments with close friends and some bad teachers leave me feeling tired. My english class makes it all worthwhile though. Kelso is good good good.

I need some new friends, some new hobbies, and I need to finally go buy a bass guitar. Need that bass right about now.

Turns out the girl was just threatening to make someone feel like shit. Equally screwed up.

My dad is buying an ass-rapingly powerful iMac with DVD-burning capabilities, so my ninja movie is greenlighted. Script to be written soon.

I found out an hour ago that a girl I once spent an afternoon with tried to kill herself. No one knows if she's alright or if her parents found her in time. No one's answering their phone, so we think they found her but who the hell knows. What the fuck is wrong with this world?