At my school today there was a tech faire (code for a schoolwide corporate backdoor deal) where all the cute little tools who design technology for the marines to use to kill people more effectively bribe us with free shiny things. One of the handouts was a pair of purple latex gloves that were actually pretty nifty. When I got tired of wearing the one glove Michael-Jackson style, I snapped it off. Somehow in the removal process all of the glove's fingers got mashed into the index finger. The result was something that looked just like a purple condom with the ability to be worn on one's finger.

So I assumed the alter ego "Captain Condom" and poked people in the ear with it to be chased around the gym with disgusted screams. My history teacher was quite amused when I made it dance at her. She actually stopped in mid-sentence and gaped. After she corrected her "hell" remark with a gentler "heck" I told her, "Y'know, you probably don't need to use euphamisms when you're talking to someone with a condom on their finger."

This is so precious.