Saturday, November 23, 2002

Another top 5:

1. Ice Cube - Juno Reactor

Feverish, pulsating trance music that has restored my faith in the electronica genre. The kind of techno that gives you goosebumps and makes your spine tingle it's so addictive. I want to throw a party just so I can play this song at its true volume.

2. Wicked Game - Chris Isaak

Of course. What young person in this country has not at some point listened to this song while staring out a window? The official theme song of people who flounder in the helplessness they exude from their orifices. But Isaak's still damn sexy to listen to.

3. Life on Mars - David Bowie

I know I'm following the trend here( , , but Bowie deserves the recognition. I don't know why, but I have all but one or two songs of Hunky Dory on my MP3 playlist and this is by far my favorite. It's so tender it feels like a tooth with an exposed root is stuck in your heart and a vagrant badger is gnawing on the red, fleshy stump. It's that poignant.

4. Independent Woman - Elbow

This is by far the funniest song I've ever heard. It's a cover of a Destiny's Child song done with accordion, xylophone, and crooning, gravelly vocals sung by a very smooth, very English (presumably unshaven) man. They cut out eight-ninths of the vocals and the satire is overpowering.

5. The Mystery Trend - Julian Cope

This song hasn't left my side for about a month. Rather indescribable and the lyrics are a bit beyond me but I'm starting to get it. A work in progress.

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

(gasp....gasp...gasp.) There's yer damn content.
Turns out Milli Vanilli doesn’t love me after all.
Just found out today
Just threw them my week’s savings
Oh well
I never was one for honesty anyway.

Turns out Paul Mc Cartney’s been lying to my face
And now he does handstands
For teary little eyes
And bent little minds.

Maya Angelou called me yesterday.
She told me I should buy a Nokia no-roam plan
Between bursts of static and garbled voices talking about “gnomes.”
I told her
I don’t have a cell phone
And she hung up.
I think.

Nine out of ten revolutionary icons
Prefer non-drowsy Tylenol,
And Malcom X takes little blue pills
With Coca-Cola.
He buys from Bob Dole.

Weird, Coca-Cola doesn’t show up on spell check.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....Haahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaah! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahah! Hahahaha!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAH!!
I thought it might be funny to make a followup to my compatriate Bryan Casey's newest weblog installations ( He's spent a few hours every couple days describing exactly why he likes the things he does and why you should too, with a mini history lesson to justify his undying love for the stuff. Let's go on the learning journey!

1. Given the Dog a Bone - AC/DC

A long time ago five Australian guys smoked, then screwed, then drank, then screwed again and smoked and drank a few more times (just to make sure). Hence AC/DC. I can say I like them without batting an eyelid. I don't really have much shame when it comes to these things. Dammit, they're fun. And they know they're only fun. Maybe their fans don't but me and Angus Young exchange little understanding glances between songs. Given the Dog a Bone. Pure, unabashed stupidity and I love them for it. All those times that Dark Side of the Moon makes me want to throw it against a wall I can breathe a sigh of relief while diving behind a couch from Johnson's blaring vocals.

2. Kill All Hippies - Primal Scream

Oh yes. Ooooooh yes.

3. Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones

The first. The best. Damn you old pasty people for domesticating it with your baseball stadiums and social events. Never gets any radio play anymore because it's all commercial Jeff 'n Jare stupid anus fuckery that I hate. I have to listen to that crap every morning in my carpool. "Hmm, maybe we should make jokes about the DC sniper now! OK! Hey Jeff, isn't Jennifer Aniston hot? I sure hope they keep Friends on the air for another...hundred years! (guy laughs in a shoot-me-in-the-face squeal)" Stick with what's decent and good. Please.

4. Don't Eat the Yellow Snow - Frank Zappa

I can repeat this one word for word now and my Zappa voice is finely honed. This is the kind of stuff you play in the car on long road trips just to drive the other people crazy. One of those. Yeah. Only this man could name his children "Dweezil" and "Moon Unit."

5. Mexican Radio - Wall of Voodoo

Lost in the desert. I can't name any of the band members but I still consider myself a fan. Unique and addictive and won't leave me alone when it's quiet.