"Blaaah! I'm the creeper! I'm super-spooky and eat people! Blaaaaaah! I trick you into watching my two horrible movies and wasting four dollars that you could have used for soda and candy! BLAAAAH! I CAN FLY! ISN'T THAT SPOOKY?! I ATTACK SCHOOL BUSES!! BLAAAAAAAH!!!!"

Top five rainy-day activities:

1) Spend hours playing computer games. Briefly look out window disparagingly, continue playing computer games.

2) Fantasize about Ben Affleck.

3) Cower in existentialist dread, gripped with all-consuming fear of your inevitable demise. Then make a hot-pocket.

4)


5) Tony Danza.