Friday, October 04, 2002

I've been thinking recently about how youth "culture" has lost it's will to fight. I saw the conversion to yuppie mentality as a weak and defeatist way of living in ignorance, and in many ways it is. But I suppose that on some level young'ns are biologically driven to pry themselves away from the institution and their families, and closer to their friends. With the new wave of advertising techniques, fads and market trends, we've been exposed to so many images of uniformly dressed "wild n' crazy kids" having fun and rebelling with their cell phones/unkempt hair that it's become a reality in everyone's mind. They live under the impression that those ads are just reflections on the way modern society works so they accept it.

So in their own right, walking around the desert with a pack of your friends while drinking Starbucks is indeed a form of horribly mutated, warped, bizzare rebellion. They see it as their only means of escape from social pressures or parents. Teen spirit packaged, freeze-dried, sorted and shipped to you through the friendly people at Nokia.

This quiz was supposedly taken directly from a Newsweek. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but stereotyping the girls of America to be shallow, snively, materialistic corporate tools shouldn't have a home in a news magazine. I like my crappy nonsense separated into distinct categories for easier chastizing, and when corporate bullshit intermingles with corporate bullshit it makes me uppity.

This kind of thing (the quiz) is what is slowly brainwashing our youth into vapid, driveling Mc Music lovers; the kind who mock the cell phone my parents forced on me that's half an inch thicker than theirs. "Geez fag, living in the stone age?"

You girlfolk shouldn't be contented to sit in a mall and try to look like you're twenty. Go express yourself. You don't need starbucks, hundred dollar sunglasses, a designer purse, and a cell phone to seem mature. In fact, lack of these things will now set you apart from the horde. You will get more attention if you dress differently. People will be inclined to talk to you.

There's a person under all that makeup and I'm sure they don't enjoy being suffocated.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

I have confessed my greatest sins to the omnipotent oracle of the internet "Heaven/Hell" test and it has judged me rigorously and truthfully. Now all I can do is trust in its immortal wisdom and give all the money I can to my lord the webmaster of .

I only have a 32% compatability rating with heaven, and will surely burn for all eternity for not owning a bible and accepting gays as human beings. What have you, I grovel before whoever wrote this with tears in my eyes and my ass thrust bare for branding and painful torture.
I took a "which Disney princess are you" test and these are the results:

You are Ariel from The Little Mermaid. You have the heart of a rebellious teenage girl. In your struggle to assert your independence, don't forget all your family does for you. You might have materialistic tendencies. It wouldn't hurt to take stock of your possessions and give all the things you no longer use to Goodwill. Everyone finds your youthful, innocent good looks attractive, but remember that you have a mind (or at least a voice), too. You are totally in love with the sea and would do well with a man who also loves the outdoors.

(Just for the record, I'm male.)
Ways to support Phobitopia:
-Give me money
-Give me CD's to keep my creative influx constant
-Manufacture Phobitopia T-shirts with memorable (and marketable) catchphrases on them
-Procure a small Texan cult for me to manipulate, and then release to intermingle with members of normal society
-Invite me to parties. I do tricks.
-Don't watch TV
-Don't wear yellow, it's the color of the devil and you'll be damned to hell.
-Kick shivery, hairless chiuahuas
-Get big-name celebrities to endorse my page, preferably not anyone affiliated with Geico commercials.
-Bomb your local Starbucks
-Sneak into movies
-Confuse your PE teachers with the word "ineffable"
-Put down the lipgloss. Please.
-Tell the clouds you love them
-Write poetry, not about how broken you are.
-Be liberal.
-Be happy.
-Make sweet, passionate, unbridled jungle love to me.
Anyone have any Wall of Voodoo CD's I can copy? Considering buying Call of the West Hey, free trade, free speech, Please?
Hey, new catch phrase! You kids gotta spread it around, y'hear?

Wicked savvy!
Someone needs to be a sport and pledge their firstborn daughter to me. I finally beat someone...fairly...playing Warcraft 3 over . I usually don't take the game or the *cough*soulless*cough* patrons of the community seriously enough to actually assert myself. It contents me just to thoroughly confuse and enrage them with two-syllable words, completely formed sentences, and snooty comebacks.

Even though I don't exactly shine at it, Warcraft 3 and other computer games are some of the many things that give me release and joy in life. I think it's crucial for everyone to find something they can enjoy simply and easily any time they want, so that school isn't successful in making us all vapid sociopaths. Sacrificing yourself at the altar of the TV gods doesn't count. Try to find a range to balance yourself out and take it easy. This weblog's a great help. But you can't start one. No. I said no! Don't make me get the spray bottle!
Valentin, , has openly declared philosophical rivalry to Phobitopia and, more specifically, me. Phobitopian peacekeepers are currently being deployed to key choke points. Every coffee shop, independent bookstore and movie house will shortly be maintained by grimacing men in khaki-green jumpsuits. I trust you will treat them with the utmost respect and we won't have any problems.

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

Everyone go and watch some Kurosawa movies, especially Seven Samurai. They make me feel all warm and squishy inside.

Sunday, September 29, 2002

New developments on the philosophical front. Found a definition for synchronicity.

Since we're all in constant sway with one another, each individual action influencing everyone else of the species, synchronicity is when you encounter the consequence for an action which you recognize either as your own or as someone elses' you know.

In fact, most things we hear or come across are probably synchronatic, but the action behind it has been lost in all the human interactions. A man buys some cigarettes, smokes one, drops the rest on the street. Young miscreant comes along, finds them and starts smoking because of it. The young miscreant ends up working for you filing papers. Synchronicity, just under your nose but impossibly masked and practically untraceable.

Happy hunting.