And now for the dramatic personality shift to swing in. Every time I'm removed from my natural habitat for a number of days (i.e. school, social circles) I grow happier, more self-confident, friendlier.

I must admit, the thought of delving back into the game makes me sick some mornings. I hate that I will, that day, be expected to fill all the roles you and I have agreed that I should fill. Let me tell you, I want Matt dead. I want to be able to interact with people in my own way, not Matt's way. I don't want anyone to have to fill any role ever again. I want to do away with every set of rules I have been brought up with. I don't want to know that "girlfriends" exist; only people. I don't want to know that "friends" exist; only people. I wish we weren't fed lies, daily, that only serve to limit us.

And I wish I could believe in what I say.