I just spent an hour dying an old pair of contacts dark red, like the color of congealed blood. My original intention was to make them light purple, but i spilled the red. I let the contacts soak for a few minutes and when i tried them on everything was bathed in a sickly red color and I looked like the devil. I considered jumping out with red food coloring dripping from my chin with the contacts in, when my easily frightened parents came through the door, but I decided against it, based on what happened when my brother spontaneously shaved his head one morning.

The food coloring made my eyes feel all funny, so i'm letting them soak. More antics to ensue.